RockOm

By Trevor Harden, Trevor@RockOm.net

Writer and Buddhist nun Pema Chodron has said that it is "better to join in with humanity than to set ourselves apart." This is certainly true, but it could be argued that we, in fact, cannot be set apart except through our own misunderstanding. We are all inseparable from the whole, an integral piece of all that is. In Calculus we pick a point on a line and then observe things from that perspective. But there really is no point on the line; it is arbitrarily chosen so that there can be discussion. In the same way, you and I - as well as every "thing" in the universe - is simply a "point in the line" of the cosmos. We are all intricately connected and can no more be separated than a wave can be separated from water.

And yet, for many different reasons, there are times when we feel alone. Separate. Isolated. Unconnected. We feel we have no community, no place to belong and we don't feel accepted by people or the world around us. This is no doubt a mental construction, but it certainly doesn't feel anything less than real. Therefore we often need to be encouraged and reminded that we do belong, that we are accepted and that we are a part of something far bigger than our loneliness.

For those times, here are a few songs that may help...

SONG: "Belong" by Chris Rice (Listen)

EXCERPT: "Pool reflects an orphan child / Dirty, lost, alone and wild / Fatherless and nameless still / Fallen heart and broken / will there ever be a place where I belong?"

REFLECTION: This song by Chris Rice both poses the question (Will there ever be a place where I belong?) as well as answers it as the song develops. Chris come to find his answer in God - that by seeing himself as a child of God and as a brother of Jesus, he recognizes his grand divine inheritance and part in the universal family. Perhaps this will mean something to you as well the next time you feel as though you don't belong.

SONG: "A Place in this World" by Taylor Swift (Listen)

EXCERPT: "I'm alone, on my own and I'm starting off / I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh, but life goes on / Oh, I'm just a girl trying to find a place in this world"

REFLECTION: Although this song doesn't exactly answer the problem, empathizing with the suffering of others often allows us to move through our own suffering. In this song, Taylor Swift speaks to her loneliness and need to find her "place in this world." Perhaps in the sharing of someone else's search for meaning and belonging, we can begin to understand our own.

SONG: "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace (Listen)

EXCERPT: "Tina’s losing faith in what she knows / Hates her music, hates all of her clothes / Thinks of surgery and a new nose / Every calorie is a war / While she wishes she was a dancer / And that she'd never heard of cancer / She wishes God would give her some answers / And make her feel beautiful"

REFLECTION: When we take the position of being a separate being in a cold outside world, we often look long and hard for our place and where we belong, even going to destructive means to try and fit in. But if we can come to understand and accept just how connected we already are with all that is, we can relax into the peace of a divine and universal acceptance.

YOUR TURN: What songs speak to you about belonging, connection, acceptance and battling loneliness?